To Danny

It's been a while. And the circumstances which have inspired me to write are much less than desirable. A good man has died.

My great Uncle Danny barely knew me, yet, he spent a generous chunk of change to send me to college. His financial support depended upon attending a catholic university, and it just so happened that the Catholic University of America was my school of choice.

I am not a religious person.

He did not ask questions. Before college, I would not have been able to recognize Uncle Danny in a crowd of old people. In fact, I'm not sure I would be able to recognize him among the living, today.

Someone once asked me if I felt hypocritical attending Catholic University under false pretenses- the assumption of my generous uncle believing he was fostering my catholic spirit. A little guilty, I've felt, at times. I've never felt hypocritical. My uncle never asked if I went to church each weekend or took part in campus ministry activities. He never asked if I believed in god. He only asked that I retain an average gpa, which I did.

I wrote him a thank you letter at the conclusion of each year, notifying him of my accomplishments and the new goals I had set for myself. I always seemed to write with new found determination to make my way in some field of study that I had changed, a few too many times.

I sent him souvenirs I had purchased when the Pope visited campus.

I called him when his wife died.

I sent him my graduation photograph.

I learned he became ill with esophageal cancer. I heard he couldn't swallow solid food. I heard he couldn't speak much above a whisper. But I also heard he made a point of hitting Atlantic City to gamble and enjoyed his scotch at his favorite local bar when he could. God bless the old Irish spirit.

I visited him in assisted living. He was enjoying a baseball game on TV. On his table, he had displayed my letters, gifts, and, my picture. I was told he was proud but didn't know until I saw it for myself, laid out in front of me.

Uncle Danny was a selfless giver. He gave to me and never thought twice about it. And, my collegiate success was a gift to him.

He truly saw life as a gift. Even after the death of his wife and while enduring his failing health.

I look up to this. I'd like to see things his way, too.

Whether or not life is a gift from god is an uncertainty I have struggled with. I have profound doubts. And to write truthfully, I'm not usually a fan of the religious folk. Danny didn't have doubts. Danny was a good person, and I don't doubt that he is at peace.